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Mazornet's Jewish Book Club
Facing Multiple Sclerosis: Our Longest Journey
by Dorothy Shatzky, Joel Shatzky
(Paperback - October 1999)
Review by: Roza M.
 This is a true story
of a couple that was first faced with Multiple Sclerosis over
fifteen years ago. A true story, told with brutal honesty.
Joel Shatzky, a playwright, teacher, and a novelist, is indeed a
master of words; taking you, the reader, along for the ride of hurt,
pain, sacrifice, love and humanity.
Dorothy Shatzky was diagnosed with
Multiple Sclerosis in 1985, when there were few effective treatments
for the disease.
For years, as the disease took
hold of Dorothy, Joel was her sole caregiver. Yet, Mr. Shatsky
does not perceive himself as "brave" or "heroic." He writes:
"I hate this sickness Dorothy has, not only because of what it had
done to her, but what it has done to me. And for me to pretend that
there's something inherently noble about someone whose behavior
tries to assure the public that they are role models for the
handicapped is to accept the unacceptable myth that there isn't
something perfectly okay about not feeling like a role model."
How long can a relationship sustain
itself, with one always giving and the other receiving? Many spouses
and caregivers takes leave, and who is to judge? The emotional and
physical strain is enormous. Yet Joel stayed. He writes: "I
didn't leave for one simple reason: I wouldn't be able to live
with myself if I did."
Thus, self-critical, candid, and direct,
Joel relates the progression of Dorothy's disease; Their hopes, the
set backs, as well as his emotional inner battles. He acknowledges
weakness of resolve, helplessness, and moments of despair.
Joel reveals inner thoughts, that though may be hard to admit, ring
true to those of us who experienced the slow demise of a loved one.
"Once upon a time," he writes, "people got sick, got worse, died."
But nowadays, as a result of the advance of medical technology, "we
have controlled serious illness . . . just enough to make people
linger. . . and linger. . . and linger." And Joel stays.
Actions speak volumes. It is interesting
to note that Joel, at a point in his life, fantasized about leaving
his wife and finding a more compatible partner. "And then," he
writes, "she was diagnosed with MS. And that made it impossible
for me to leave her. And over the last few years I am
discovering that I love her. And perhaps this is the only way I
could find that out."
Today, with Dorothy residing in a nearby
nursing home - as the severity of her condition makes it impossible
for Joel to continue to care for her at home - Joel and Dorothy go
out frequently, have traveled to Europe twice, and are closer than
ever.
A treat - Read Joel and Dorothy Shatzky's letter to Jewish Celebration!
Click here!
Other books on the subject of Multiple
Sclerosis
Me and My Shadow: Learning to Live with Multiple Sclerosis,
Carole MacKie,Sue Brattle
Women Living Multiple Sclerosis, Judith Lynn Lynn Nichols
Multiple Sclerosis: The Questions You Have, the Answers You Need,
Rosalind C. Kalb,Rosalind C. Kallb
Waist-High in the World: A Life among the Nondisabled, Nancy
Mairs
Have you read "Facing Multiple Sclerosis: Our Longest
Journey" and would like to comment?
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